Ok to add to the cheena-ness, omg damn impressed by Rainie Yang's cover!!

OMFG.
Close to you is like THE BEST SONG EVER? (ok just kidding)
I love The Carpenter's version, I love The Cranberries's cover and now this.
This song always melts me into a puddle.

There are so many good songs with the word elephants inside.

Blonde Redhead's Elephant Woman
Warpaint's Elephants
Rachael Yamagata's Elephants
Beirut's Elephant Gun
Damien Rice's Elephant

(:

Came across this quote just now.

'You need to learn to be happy by nature, because you'll seldom have the chance to be happy by circumstances.' (:

Michelle, I'm fine(:

I have been missing out on this gem of a band all these years.
Our paths have finally converged <3

Toe performed at Mosaic Festival 2012, I unfortunately did not have the privilege of coming across their music before that.
Only happened to see their performance videos uploaded onto Youtube by someone whom I subscribed to.



As you all can probably tell, I am such a huge sucker for Japanese music (not the creepy kind with 48 girls performing on stage at the same time) but more of the 'rock' genre.
Not sure if I am right but I just get the feeling that the Japanese have been well exposed to American/British rock/band music early and the influence in their music is a lot stronger as compared to bands from the other Asian countries.
Or maybe I just haven't been venturing much into other Asian music scenes.

Sayonara Itsuka (2010)

'When you die, would you think of the one who loved you or the one you loved.'

Sometimes life just doesn't work out the way you want it and you live with the consequence of your decisions every day.
Live with the regret and always yearning for happiness which you may have already missed.
I don't want that to happen to me, I don't want to settle and regret for the rest of my life.
Which is why I think I will always be looking and searching but would I ever successfully find.

I have a shitload of work to do but yes I am watching a movie on Funshion AGAIN...

SIGH.
Nevermind I shall like work reallyyyyyyyy hard tomorrow and finish all my work HAHAHA.
And Sayonara Itsuka has my favourite Nishijima Hidetoshi (the whole cast is like above 35 years old HAHA) and the theme song is my Mika Nakashima, HOW CAN I NOT WATCH.

Guilty of basking in the attention and care.
Guilty of entertaining the possibility.
Guilty of breaking it when it gets too much.
Why does this always happen, I wish things were always more clear cut.
How can I enjoy your company without letting you misunderstand?
Guess that is impossible.

NISHIJIMA HIDETOSHI AND HASEGAWA HIROKI.
Joining the ranks of quirky looking but oh so charming 30+ Japanese single actors like Kase Ryo that I would so marry.

Throw in Ben Gibbard and I will be a very willing bride hehe.

The only reason I would have went for laneway this year would be to watch Feist.
I really love her latest album, all heartbreak and raw emotion.

And here's my favourite off the album <3

'When a good man and a good woman can't find the good in each other.
And a good man and a good woman bring out the worst in the other, the bad in each other.'

As always, SMU likes to scare people.
But still thanks nonetheless for the second chance and letting me accept the offer to FH Joanneum in Graz, Austria.
So, things are pretty much settled.
Visa for summer internship then off to Austria.
Thank you <3

And so it has been a jam-packed, exciting and fulfilling break week.
Some highlights were definitely the handball matches at NTU, Waikiki, my Visa internship interview and acceptance and my exchange.

I was given the offer to FH Joanneum (my 3rd choice but my only early application) in Graz, Austria.
The mother silly thing is I accidentally put some stupid rule on the wrong folder (my CAT folder which I deleted soon after last term) and my exchange emails were going there without my knowledge.
My com was also sent to CIT to be repaired so I have been using SMU live so I obviously had no fucking clue about my offer to FH Joanneum.

Until randomly on a Thursday night at 1am (Friday morning)I had a gut feeling about checking my microsoft outlook decided to just turn on my old com which I got back from CIT not long ago.
AND THE EMAIL WAS REALLY THERE OMG.

Panicked, was on the brink of tears, sent some really panicky email to OIR and could barely get any sleep cause I so wanted to hurry contact someone from OIR to explain.
Went down to OIR on friday to explain and they might be giving me a second chance.

Sometimes I think some things are really fated, it was fated for me to get FH Joanneum and yet for me to not see the email and miss the deadline but yet see it later on so that I could do something about it if not I wouldn't even have known that they took my lack of response as a rejection and automatic withdrawal from the entire exchange application.

And of course, I am the only SMU student that applied in the 1st round again.
WTF MAN.
EVERY TERM SO MANY PEOPLE GO ROTTERDAM AND GRAZ WHY EVERY TIME I APPLY I'M ALWAYS THE ONLY ONE.
God, you sure have a way of doing things.
But I will take on that challenge. (:

Just sent in an email to OIR to confirm that I wish to accept FH Joanneum (cause I was given a choice to think over the weekend whether I wanted FH Joanneum or forego it and try for my other 4 choices which are quite unlikely).

Will see whats the response from OIR, really hope they understand that I truly didn't see the email and would give me a second chance!!

And yet another Japanese band breaks up.
My favourite Remioromen decided to break my heart by disbanding this year, but lead singer and song writer Fujimaki Ryota will be going solo soon.

And my all time favourite from them:

Got to know the movie through this song.
After I watched the movie, the song got stuck in my head even more.
On a side note, Mark Chao so shuai hehehe.

Library level 5 is an awesome place to be listening to Joe Hisaishi.
A friend of mine just posted a video performance of the theme song from Spirited Away which I saw a few years ago and that led me to have the urge to relive my Joe Hisaishi youtubeing days.

This is my favourite:



Very very touching piece from Princess Mononoke <3

I probably posted this same video a few years back since I always reuse things on my blog because once in a while I'll get the same urge to talk about the same things HAHA.

Kaseifu no mita was the best performing Japanese drama of 2011 and arguably one of the best dramas in history.
Averaged ratings of around 20% and ended with a record high of 40% during its finale (the last time ratings hit 40% was during Takuya Kimura's Beautiful Life)
It was the comeback drama of the original Japanese goddess (in my eyes) Matsushima Nanako and it falls under the 'Human drama' category of Japanese dramas.

Key issues it covers are deaths in the family, parental love and a little on shotgun weddings and how sometimes the couple are not prepared for marriage and children.
From episode 8 onwards you'll be crying every episode unless you're not human!!
Matsushima Nanako and the children's acting is FREAKING GOOD :'(

I kind of regret starting it cause I can't stop omg! <3
Ok back to my episode 10 hehehe and reading my damn Business Processes case :(

I finally got my hands on the 星空 iphone case I've been eyeing but didn't get cause I'm stingy.
Went one whole round and in the end it came in the form of a belated birthday gift (thank you <3)

星空 is seriously my all time favourite movie.
I actually like the movie more than the illustration book.
Definitely the illustrations were extremely beautiful but even 几米 agrees that 星空 had great potential to be expanded into a movie and I think a great great job was done of it.



几米 mentioned in the video that 星空 is about qing chun's cui ruo and kuang ye.
All through the growth and development of a 13 year old female protagonist, a very very touching movie *cries*.
Perhaps more so for me because of the similaritiess I can identify such as the family background and being an only child.



And it has a very touching song by May Day, similarly named 星空 (:

【會變「辣媽」的星座】

第一名：獅子座。

結婚前是公主，結婚後當然要當個皇后！獅子女生就算不是嫁到豪門，也會把自己當少奶奶看待，永遠打扮得明豔動人，絲毫看不出她已經當媽了！

HAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHA :D

Just finished Shokuzai.
MINDFUCK.
Not in the bad way like Shutter Island but in a 'All hail Minato Kanae for the original story and Kiyoshi Kurosawa for the screenplay, how could anyone have written such an intelligent, thrilling and well-linked story'.

I still remember in secondary school, I had a teacher who showed us Zhang Yi Mou's Raise the Red Lantern and he told us that in Zhang Yi Mou's movies, if you were to pause at any scene, the scene would still look like a beautiful photograph.
Of course I take that statement with a pinch of salt but since then, I also used a similar criteria to observe every movie that I watch.

Shokuzai definitely fits the bill.
Additionally, there are also truckloads of good actors and actresses in every single episode.
All in all, I think it makes a very classy and intelligent short-drama which successfully explores many many ugly issues which are rarely brought to light.
Humans after all are very flawed creatures.

Ok now time to get some work done, I have fallen back into holiday mood after a cleared my presentation and mid term on Wednesday hehe!

The word 'Fuck' is most appropriately used in the following scenarios:

1. If you might be in the midst of sexual intercourse.

2. When you wanna listen to that new song you downloaded on the train but forgot to sync it to your phone.

3. When you wanna continue where you left off in your book but left it by your bed side.

4. When the raw version of the latest episode of that drama you are watching is out but the subbed one isn't so you dont understand what the fuck they are saying but you're dying to find out.

FUCK EPISODE 13 SUBBED VERSION HURRY COME OUT PLEASEEEEEEEE.

All my friends who have sat in my car over the past few months would realise that I have been listening to Chinese music channels.
Main reason is because I am currently addicted to singing karaoke and suffering from withdrawal symptoms so I listen to Chinese music channels hoping that they will play a karaoke-worthy song and I will sing along in the comfort of my car. (:

Unfortunately I feel like the more I listen to Chinese music on the radio stations, I discover other nice songs which I would try to find on youtube. As I search for songs on youtube, I get linked to other songs on the related bar on the right and the whole thing just snowballs and I find myself liking more and more Chinese songs and the urge to go karaoke only INTENSIFIES! :O

So once again I have been searching through songs on youtube and I think I am in love. 林宥嘉's voice is the kind that grows on you only after a while and for someone who can sing 你快樂所以我快樂 (another song from my childhood <3) with such individual flavour makes me fall in love with his voice. Doesn't help that I like his shirt hehe.



Ok back to my stupid Business Processes project research arghhhhhh. *pulls hair* I didn't even go on exchange or whatever but I have been having trouble getting back into school mode this term and still in a super holiday mood SIGH. :(

GIRL YOU GOTTA BUCK UP!!

Last night I randomly came across a tune and it sparked off the kind of feeling where you are like 'This song is so familiar, I have heard it before but I just cant recall what's the name of the song'. I knew I heard a friend sing this before in karaoke but the song didn't reach out to me that much back then so I failed to take note of the song title. So I embarked on desperate attempts to find out the name of the song, looked through the singer's videos on youtube and her discography and in the end finally found out the name of the song through a friend thanks (:

It's a lovely song about growing up.
Lyrics written by the wonderful Qing Feng <3
This is not the first time I have came across a random song and thought wow the lyrics are so nice and I research on the singer and song title then realise that the song lyrics were actually written by Qing Feng!!



在成長的過程中，我們都一度設定自己是一個怎麼樣的人，
但隨著我們經歷的事，碰到的人，遇到的難題
慢慢會發現我們離我們想像的自己越來越遠。
有時候也許也會讓自己感到很失望，也很討厭自己原來是這樣不完美，
也曾因此而倘淚。

但世界上的事情，就是如此，
成長，就是要學習從不完美，找出完美的角度，
我們都是Imperfectly perfect的。

All these pictures from friends going on exchange and all the talk about traveling during Chinese New Year gatherings is making me itch to get out of Singapore!
The holiday mood also hasn't left me since December as well and I so wish I could go on exchange or at least a holiday.

But once again I must remind myself, patience is a virtue and I should patiently wait for my turn and pray that I get my exchange next term (:

On a separate note, I have been in a really Kase Ryo mood recently, especially since I started on Shokuzai a couple of days back.
3 episodes into the series and I am totally a fan, every episode is so thrilling and it is filmed very well just like mini movies.
Each episode also covers different ugly issues that seem to be prevalent in the modern Japanese society but often hidden under the surface.

I also found out something else that is exciting! (to me only I think HEHE)
One of my favourite Japanese crime dramas, SPEC (starring Toda Erika and Kase Ryo) is coming out with a movie wheeeeeee.



I am a big big fan of Kase Ryo, there's just something so awkward and different about him that I find so awesome and of course he can act very well (:

I actually watched a few of his movies before I realised that he was featured in all of them and that's when I started to follow his films because I knew that it was highly likely I would like the films he chose to act in.
I've watched About Love, Nobody Knows, I just didn't do it, Honey and Clover, Tokyo!, Pool and my favourites Restless and Gravity's Clowns and I can't wait to catch SPEC as well (:
Although I am pretty sure I won't be able to find anyone who will be interested to watch with me but I am sure I can turn to Funshion :D

While I was youtubeing, I also came across a Japanese band called S.R.S.
Turns out the theme song of Gravity's Clowns is by them!



Featuring 2 Okada Masakis and a SX-70.
Their other songs are nice as well (:

Shokuzai (Atonement)

5 episode mini drama based on the book written by Minato Kanae.
Kurosawa Kiyoshi, director of Tokyo Sonata, became the screenwriter for the series and filmed it as well.
It is a mind-twisting psychological thriller just like Koukuhaku and Kurosawa Kiyoshi definitely utilises his expertise in the horror genre.
The cast is also very impressive, which includes my favourite Kase Ryo and many others who also have their share of critically-acclaimed films and series.
Kurosawa Kiyoshi, whom I realised likes to work with the same few artists over and over again, also features practically the entire Tokyo Sonata cast in this series.

But enough for tonight, one episode of Shokuzai has already left a great impact on me.
Shall continue with it another day, preferably in the day time instead (:

On another note, I was googling Minato Kanae and came across an article titled: 'New Writers Explore the Dark Side of Japanese Literature' which really caught my interest. It talks about a rising dark side in Japanese Literature with Minato Kanae's Koukuhaku (Confessions) winning the annual Hon'ya Taisho award and about the groups of female writers that are leading this change.

'...Could it be that the young women in Japan, whether they are writing melodramatic quasi-memoirs on cell phones or producing provocative literary works on paper, are the ones most sensitive to the dark undercurrent that permeates Japanese society, ravaged by a long economic slump? Does it explain why so many of them remain single and have stopped giving birth but write scary stories instead? Girls are losing hope for the future. Maybe we can reinstate it by listening to their voices.'

Fresh new start.

I finally found the song I have been looking for so long from Scent of a Woman!!
FINALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.



JK Kim Dong Wook's Bucket List.
The song was played during every freaking damn heartbreaking and realistic crying scene.
This is definitely my all time favourite Korean drama, and I barely finish any.
GREAT acting from both leads (I love Kim Sun Ah), beautiful scenes, some slightly cheesy lines but still tolerable, nice OST and a VERY good looking Lee Dong Wook. (:

Even though this is my second time doing the exchange application, it is still a pain in the butt.
And unfortunately, FH Joanneum (Graz, Austria) has an early application deadline so I need to stop procrastinating and hurry up zzzzzzzzzz.
As I was writing my exchange study plan, I started to daydream of traveling and this video popped into my head. (:



Enjoying a secure spot in my Top 25 Most Played in my phone, Camera Obscura's French Navy.
Love the song, love this bittersweet video.
A nice song doesn't necessarily mean that the video is nice but I really like this one!

Every once in a while, I will fall into yet another Damien Rice phase where I will put yet another one of his heart breaking songs on repeat for days and days.

Move aside Will.I.Am, Damien Rice is the true heart breaker.

After going on a hiatus due to her illness (and marrying the awesome mizushima hiro), Ayaka is back with a new album (:
She's my idol.
Very classy looking, great stage personality, great voice, faced her illness bravely and can also dress very well hehe.



And I'm really missing Indonesia.
It was just a good break and I think I really needed it.
Even though this team for the OCIP may not have been as bonded as Namaste, I felt like it was a much more eye-opening and meaningful experience.
Perhaps because I'm older now and I tend to pick up more serious issues and perhaps also because I was more involved as a member of the organising committee.
This time round I was in Programs instead of Logistics so definitely much more involved in the teaching part of the OCIP.

I realised I really like little kids, I got free kisses on the cheeks and lips from 2 cute little boys from this kindergarten called Elim Karos HEHEHE!
Next time I am going to inculcate the habit of giving goodbye kisses everytime my children go out of the house!
But I also realised I think I can only have 1 child.
I think I can't really distribute my attention and my care across a few children, I need to give my 100% to 1 child at any one point in time.

Also, I foresee myself going on more backpacking trips <3
Time to explore the rest of Asia!

And damn it, I need to start doing research for exchange application zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Still not sure where exactly to apply to, I'm only sure about Vienna and Budapest :/
Shall worry about this another day HEHE. :D

Sometimes you will realise that there are some people you don't need to bother about.
At the end of the day, you won't be able to have a true and long lasting friendship with that person anyway.
So don't get worked up

I guess it's a fact of life, you can never get along with everyone out there and don't expect to be great friends with everyone.
Try to maintain a friendly relationship with everyone but identify who are your close friends and treasure them.
Or perhaps it's just my personality, it can be quite easy for me to clash with certain other personalities :/
But regardless, I need to write a mental note to myself to lower my expectations of my relationships with the people around me and treasure my important friends <3

Realised I haven't wrote anything about my trip to Indonesia!
Great trip, took away much from the whole experience and I shall leave it to another time to elaborate (:

I have a soft spot for 方大同.
He's so humorous and awkward but most importantly, he is so talented and writes wonderful music.
And now, he's showing how good he is with the electric guitar which is one of my biggest weakness *melts*
But I wish he would eat more, well veggie that is since he's vegetarian. :(
The album '15' accompanied me through majority of study week and this is one of my favourite songs off the album <3

I am currently watching a Korean drama called Flower Boy Ramyun Shop. (along with 1 Japanese and 1 Taiwanese drama hehe)
Yes, judging from the name of the show you can tell that I am just a superficial bitch HAHAHAHA.
The drama has not much meaning but its quite funny and doesn't have those cheesy melodrama lines so it's still watchable.
AND, check them out:



You're welcome (:

I think I found my favourite movie.
Although many movies have a special place in my heart, but I think this one is definitely one that stands out.

I happened to come across it randomly, it's a new Taiwanese film called Starry Starry Night.
I think it was released around a week ago in Taiwan, and I just found out it is opening in Singapore tomorrow.
How strange yet lucky that I came across it tonight, but I would love to watch it again in the cinemas though (:
Recently, I have been falling in love with quite a few Taiwanese films.
I'm starting to have a soft spot for Taiwanese films just like how I do for Japanese films.

It's quite a short film, not incredibly full of dialogue yet without too many long silent scenes.
It has a great story line, well developed, nicely paced and has a very personal and fragile feel on a whole.
First time I cried within like two minutes of the film :(
Beautifully filmed, my kind of warm lighting, quirky and vibrant colours and every scene is like a well composed photograph.
And there is a very unique magically element to the entire film with gorgeous special effects.

I really thoroughly enjoyed watching the movie and i will remember it for a long long time <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Explaining what 九把刀 wishes to convey through 那些年我們一起追的女孩 movie.

那些年我們一起追的女孩 book is very very different from the movie, in a good way.
I am only half way through so I can't be too sure about how differently or similarly the story will unfold.

Every day I have been reading the book, on the bus home or on my bed before I sleep.
Although some words I have no idea how to pronounce but aga aga can understand the meeting, in fact I'm quite impressed by my actual standard of Mandarin HEHEHEHE.

But anyway, I think I have been immersing myself quite seriously in 九把刀's youth and every day I've have just been extremely touched by his story and his sharing. I have never read a book quite like this before, a very heartfelt and sincere sharing from a very personal level. This makes me go beyond merely enjoying the story but also respecting the author himself and feeling very thankful to him for sharing his thoughts and feelings with readers.

RESPECT.
And I think I will have a soft spot for 九把刀 from now on. (:

I have come to learn that communication is one of the most important thing in maintaining relationships.
Honest and sincere communication is the key.

To the people that matter, we need to share what is on our minds and what we have hidden in the depths of our heart.
Holding back benefits no party, others are left guessing while you keep your true feelings inside and torture yourself with it.

Up till this day, I don't know what you feel about us and about what happened in the end. But not like I told you what I felt about everything either.

I am sorry that I always held back my thoughts and feelings, I am still learning to change my terrible habit of keeping things to myself. When asked about it, I would refuse to reveal anything and just turn away with a muttered 'Nothing.'. And with a determination that I don't see myself displaying during more crucial occasions, I would hold on to my worthless pride and keep my inner thoughts and feelings to myself. So silly really, all I did was make it difficult for you and me. I would like to blame it to being an only child, but I am sure that's not the only reason.

Communication was one of the key things we lacked and sad to say, minimal is left now as well.

I can only wish you the best from the bottom of my heart and I believe you would wish me too (:

“People like us: half of them think things will never work out, the other half believes in magic.”

Well it takes real guts to be alone, going head to head with the great unknown.
But there is no sweeter sound, on the kings round I'm bound.
And just waiting for your chance to come.

- Noah and the Whale's 'Waiting For My Chance To Come'

I pray pray pray that I get my exchange in Year 4.
I want a break, I want to travel, I want to go to Eastern Europe and indulge in food, sights, sounds and music that I have never experienced before.
I want to walk down the streets and feel free like a bird.
I want to do what I want to do and go where I want to go without having to worry about anything.

I think I have been listening to Beirut too much, his music makes me feel so joyful and free.
I can imagine myself plugging into Beirut while in Europe and just hopping and dancing down the streets <3

ho



hohoho <3

我可能不會愛你 has got to be one of my all time favourite taiwan shows.
I don't watch many, probably can count them on one hand but this is definitely one that stands out.

Core plot is about 2 friends, close friends since high school, college, university and now they are working adults who just turned 30 years old.
The guy has loved the girl for many years but has hidden his feelings and they remain by each others' sides as best friends, listening and helping each other through their ups and downs.
The show covers many issues about family, love, reaching adulthood, marriage, friendship etc, pretty much covering all the essential topics which I think everyone should always ponder about.
One thing that I really like about the show is that it DOES NOT have cheesy lines like the other 99% of taiwan shows which make me hate them oh so much.
The main leads featured in the show also act very well so thank goodness no horrible acting and weird chinese that make me cringe every time I watch them.

And now, just need to look forward to karaoke because I HAVE TO SING THIS SONG (and hopefully not cry like a baby) (:

Today was a good day.

A good saturday spent doing something different, something meaningful.
Snaps you out of the bubble that you stick your head in during the regular school days.

A day where we are all just humans, regardless of age or race, and merely wishing to help others in need.

My OCIP team went to Lam Soon CC in Choa Chu Kang this morning to carry out our pre-expendition CSP.
We were split into 2 teams, one team would paint murals at the HDB void deck while another team would head to a needy family's home to help clean up the place, paint the walls and bring in some new furniture for them.
I volunteered to go to help the family because it was obviously gonna be more meaningful.
Unfortunately the rest of my team begged to differ and only 3 of us seniors from the team went to help with the home along with other volunteers from the CC, but its ok because the murals turned out beautiful as well :D

The needy family was a family of 4.
Mr Koh was an elderly with a physical condition which caused him to have a lump on his back which inhibited him from getting a proper job.
His younger brother who is also in his mid years is mentally challenged and also suffers from a physical condition which caused his legs to be grown unnaturally and he can't walk properly and also is unable to contribute income to his family.
The younger sister is the sole breadwinner of the family, a lady in her 40s who pretty much sacrificed her time and her youth supporting her family and works as a beer auntie at a coffee shop nearby.
Lastly, the mother of the family is an elderly lady in her 80s who earns some money constructing plastic bags that many shops use by inserting the plastic handles into the plastic bag.

Their home was beyond my imagination.
They must have not done any cleaning at all for years, the floors were black and stained, dust and dirt particles stuck to the tiles and freaking hell loads of age old lizard shit stuck on the walls.
The whole house was cluttered with food donations and old items which perhaps they treasure deeply and don't wish to throw, but to most people it merely looked like trash.
Tons and tons of random old and dirty items that they kept, some because they had no time to clear and throw away and some they just couldn't bear to part with.

Cleaning up was the most difficult.
Rounds and rounds and mopping and sweeping and wiping and scrubbing.
And then came in painting, MOTHER SHAG but I thoroughly enjoyed it :D
Perhaps also cause I have a control freak side that likes to see things neat and like to see walls properly and evenly painted.

We also moved alot of furniture here and there, packed up alot of their items, brought in new cupboards, mattresses, pillows and fans for htem, changed their bedsheets and pillows.

All this was done along with a team of very kind and dedicated people.
Most of us were strangers to each other but there was a telepathic connection amongst us as we knew each of us was putting in our 200% to help make this house a better place for the family to live in and that was the best feeling ever :D

I foresee myself doing more of this in the future (:

Although I ended up skipped my 7pm Ethics make-up class, but seriously I don't need a class to teach me how to be ethical.

These few weeks I've pretty much been listening to only Bombay Bicycle Club.
Thoroughly won over by their second album (A different kind of fix) which just got released not long ago.
The first album was awesome enough for me but they just got better and better really.

Such talented young folks.
RESPECT.
They can write extremely catchy tunes with a good dose of rock elements and also write absolutely heart breaking songs.

How can a man be so good looking?!
*faints*

On Wednesday I wasn't feeling too good.
My heart felt heavy and I was just in no mood to do any work.
I decided to take a walk through the lifestyle section in the school library and a book caught my eye.
It was a small beige hard-cover book with a black spine.
It had no title nor design on the cover, and the title of the book could only be found on the spine where the library sticker even covered half of it.
It had no description nor summary and I had no idea what the content would be about.

Picked it up and read a couple of pages, got hooked and borrowed it.

Shame in the blood by Tetsuo Miura.
Very very good read imo.
Shall explore the lifestyle section in the school library more often (:

There are 3 things that i really want to buy right now:

1. Polaroid sx-70
2. Herschel little america
3. Zara beige blazer with blue lining

I need cash. And I must find some way to earn it asap.

“The heart is always right — if there’s a question of choosing between the mind and the heart — because mind is a creation of the society. It has been educated. You have been given it by the society, not by existence. The heart is unpolluted.”

I will bide by this from now onwards.

Listen 你現在的感情 從何選擇
看天氣的臉色 還是體溫
幸福不會是牛頓 一顆蘋果成學問
所以 得不到那個人 是否該恨

Listen 你現在的人生 要什麼呢
出門要豪華車 或隨緣份
幸福或許是諸葛 三顧也不見得成
所以 達不到你要的 是否該扔
又或者 永遠是不可能 滿分

You say why 愛讓寂寞像永恆
And why 愛像過客不聞不問
Oh why 愛 似乎總不貼近靈魂

Listen 回憶裡的氣氛 是熱是冷
孤芳得像天鵝 還是風箏
或許就像哥倫布 錯誤點起萬盞燈
所以 是不是還想要 再試再撐
又或者 因為曾有的疼 沉淪

You say why 愛讓寂寞像永恆
And why 愛像過客不聞不問
Oh why 愛 似乎總不貼近靈魂 怎麼能

相聚 分離 光影涼了又溫
想起 忘記 眼淚淺了又深
凡美麗總像是流水逝去不會轉過身
雨水卻在不知名的清晨紛紛

You say why oh 寂寞像永恆
Why 像過客不聞不問
Oh why 愛 不貼近靈魂

I say why 愛讓你充滿疑問
And why 愛總讓你一點不剩
Oh why why 愛只需建立在一個吻 怎麼能

Every time I listen to Tennis's songs, I get so inspired by their love.
A young married couple who pooled all their money together, bought an old sail boat, taught themselves how to sail, spent months out at sea until their money ran out, wrote music based on their journey and experiences and earned money through that.

Finally found out what's the song title.
I only heard like a 20 second clip of su da lu performing this song and I was hooked.
Tried finding what was the song title to no avail until a walking music wikipedia friend told me the answer.

Love this song, love this performance, love the lyrics and I personally prefer this to the original.

Now let me listen to it again and :'(

I think in one day, you can only watch one movie.
Then you spend the rest of the day, soaking up the after effects of the movie and daydreaming about the other world that you were just brought into.

I really can't get myself to concentrate on studying for mid terms.
I think I'm just going to go and whack for CAT mid terms tomorrow.
My mind has been filled with exchange thoughts, one of the worst decisions I had to make in my life.
This reminds me of the time when I made up my mind to go to NUS Real Estate and then my cousin called me up to have a long talk with me trying to convince me to come to SMU instead.
I remember crying like crazy during that conversation, so troubled by the decision that I had to make.

You know the feeling where you just go ahead and do something for the sake of it.
I applied for my exchange for the sake of applying because everyone applies in summer.
I applied for Europe because it's what people normally do.
What I truly wanted was Japan but I was scared because they were all either 1 or 2 slots and the term period was really bad.
I chose Netherlands not because I really wanted to go there but because I was limited due to constraints like number of slots and term period.
In the end, I led myself into the shit situation that I am in and now I find myself so unhappy I just want to pull out of exchange.

Because I didn't know what I originally wanted, I just did something for the sake of it and now I have to find a way to get out of it.
I know that the only reason why I would proceed with this exchange would be to take up the challenge and prove that I can do it, and it is not because I really want to go to Netherlands nor is it that I really will be happy living myself in a foreign land.

If I were to reapply for fall semester, I won't be guaranteed a place at all but thank goodness at least OIR told me I don't need to resubmit my academic referrals.

I don't want to bluff myself like I will be happy going on my own, I think I am just going to pull out.
I'll reapply again in fall and if I don't get it, so be it.
At least I know I didn't force myself to do something I didn't want to do.

Today was a good day.

Had lunch with Zhao Loong and Jin Dao at Ah Loy Thai.
Last installment of our Wednesday lunches, bon voyage Zhao Loong (:
3 people, 5 dishes, we were STUFFED. (like a teddy bear hehe)
Continued to test our limits with some Tom's Palette before heading to school.

Unfortunately, cramps got the better of me and I ended up rushing home and knocking out on the bed to fight the cramps.
Woke up past 8 boo.

Then had one of the best suppers ever.

Went to pick up Michelle Lai at Greenwood after her work then spontaneity brought us towards Upper Serangoon Road, then we begin heading down Bartley Road and we decided to pop by Jin Dao's house and ask him if he wanted to hop into the yellow submarine and join us for supper.

First up we decided to head for frog porridge.
Because 1) we wanted something filling 2) I was in the mood to try something I never tried before.
So we set off and we realised, THE SHOP CLOSED DOWN BOOOOOOOOOO.

Neh mind. I give Jin Dao another chance to recommend me something.
So off to Serangoon Central for some fish soup.
Store closed :'(
Got myself some signature ba chor mee instead. Quite meh but it's ok.

Then we decided to try out this little chinese desert shop that we passed by while walking from the car park.
It's run by an elderly couple and the deserts are extremely affordable with a wide variety offered.
We got ourselves some Bubor Hitam and Yam Paste and the elderly lady was extremelyyyyyyyyyyy kind and helpful.
We thanked her for the deserts and water and told her to go home soon to rest, then she shared that by the time she reaches home it'll be 2am :(

Dropped off Jin Dao at his place and headed to Michelle's.
It was nice talking to you in the carpark, thanks for the advice my dear friend :D
After all these years, I am glad to still have you in my life.

Reached home at like 130am.
Didn't get any work done at all the whole day but today has been a good day and helped to refresh my spirits.
Thank you my friends.

And to end of this beautiful night,

Musician Crush: Alister Wright of Cloud Control.
Damn right (:

#Leo people tend to dislike: Taking instructions
#Leo people tend to dislike: Criticism
#Leo people tend to dislike: Coming in second place.

I really feel like shit today.
Just so full of regrets, eating at me from the inside.
Fuck this.

I think this is why I like Japan.

Beautiful scenery.
Good Music.
And this incredibly kind and supportive community spirit.

Although you always read about how the Japanese community is actually very cold and there is a strong case of urban isolation, I feel that they have proven that there have it in them to be united, especially in times of crisis.

I don't know exactly why do I have such a strong interest and I'm not sure if this connection I feel is exactly justified but it's undeniable that Japan has a special place in my heart.

As much as I always strive to be a good person, I am but a flawed human being.
One that feels like she's losing grip on the things around her.
Maybe exchange will be good, change of environment and perhaps new beginnings.

1) I hate being accused of something I didn't do.

2) I hate it when someone else who doesn't understand the situation butts in.

You really don't know when to stop do you.
You think it's very funny but seriously, what's your damn problem.
I am pissed at the same time I'm very disappointed, what an insensitive person.
I am trying really hard to control my feelings, which is why I have to resort to letting it out here.

As a #Leo,Somehow you can be jovial, sunny and friendly, yet remain so independent and authoritative.

But I realised I have a soft spot for emotional people who tend to hide their feelings.
I wish I can be there by their side, be their listening ear and help them in any way I can.

Unless it is mad, passionate, extraodinary love, it is a waste of time.
There are too many mediocre things in life.
Love should not be one of them.

I just had this feeling of pure happiness and joy seeing my friend get attached.
(I'm quite surprised at myself HAHA.)
But I think I recognise what is real joy when I see it and it influenced me immediately!

I'm so so so proud and happy for you, I think you got the right one this time (:
May the love between the two of you grow with time and stay strong!

I need to declare my love for Foals.
Definitely going into my top favourite bands.
Just based on talent, I give it to them for being a bunch of young english lads writing these awesome tunes and playing so well live.
From the epic emotional Spanish Sahara to sexy tunes like Miami and catchy loud songs like Balloons, I can pretty much turn to them during any mood.
Definitely they are not known for writing meaningful songs that tug at your heartstrings, but I'll leave it to other bands to do that for me (:

And when you have a cute drummer, I give you bonus points hehe.






What an acoustic version, love justified <3

I thought we were at least friends, I wasn't expecting anything more.
But I guess we are not cause no one treats their friends like crap.
Your attitude is really shit.

A #Leo woman a is strongly individual and needs to live her life in her own way on her own terms. She needs to get her deserved recognition.

Went for an aunt's wake a couple of nights ago.
She has been battling cancer for a few years along with her husband and only son.
Her son is my age, just turned 21 this year.
While I was helping out at the wake and spoke to him during some moments of the funeral, he seemed to have accepted it so well and had a strong look on his face the whole time.

Since I was young, losing my parents was always my biggest worry.
As an only child with a relatively large age gap from my parents, there was a high probability that I would be on my own in this world at a young age.
I would get these moments where I just panic while I am alone at home and my parents are out and the thought would cross my mind like 'why are they not back yet?', 'what if there was a car accident?' and hurry call them to check.
It is an extremely unnerving feeling that I really hate.

I can only pray for my parents' health and fortune, may they be safe and sound for many years to come, till they see me married and maybe even see their grandchildren.
And when they do pass on, I pray that it would be a natural and painless one.

There is no certainty in our life other than the fact that we were born and we will die.
What is stopping you from doing what you want in between?

Just saw this on Facebook.
Very empowering indeed.

After watching this,



Jay Chou, you are still awesome to me!!!

As much as it is overplayed, Jie Kou is still one of my all time favorite songs from Jay Chou.
And as I sit on the bus and look around at the people and the couples, I see that some are not even talking to each other, looking away from each other and into space or busy on their respective phones.
I realized that I don't want a relationship that turns stale.
I don't want a love that will become a mere habit or even worse a chore.

But at least I know that I am not someone who will stay in a relationship for the sake of it and settle for something else so I feel a sense of assurance. :)

Seriously in love with this song.
Sad songs always leave the deepest and most lasting impression.

Netherlands!
Mixed feelings, maybe cause I think I would have really wanted to go Germany but the terms in Germany is just way too weird.
Go with an open heart and you will definitely enjoy it :D

Jane Eyre finally went on Funshion!
What a beautifully filmed movie <3
And at the rate that I check Funshion for updates of my new shows, I hereby declare myself as a Funshion Addict.
OH SHIT.

I am in love with Solanin's soundtrack.
I foresee this being a soundtrack that I would be putting on repeat for quite a while just like Jay Chou's Secret's soundtrack.

Simple yet beautiful guitar tunes accompanied with piano melodies, adorable xylophone bits, soothing vocals (in surprisingly, English) and an appropriate touch of rock.
Wonderfully filmed movie, wonderfully composed soundtrack and a wonderfully crafted message to convey to the audience.
Perfect for a lovely Sunday afternoon.

What a dream come true to catch The Cranberries live in concert :)

And also for them to play so many songs from Bury the hatchet and Wake up and smell the coffee.
The lyrics just came flowing out of my mouth <3 (I probably screamed them but they seemed like whispers against the booming music)

Dolores is such a goddess and the band is so damn awesome live just as I expected :)
All these years have not eroded their musical talent and I'm sure they will be producing more great music for many years to come (new album out January say YAY)
They will always have a special place in my heart and be one of my all time favorite bands <3

An education has merely reinforced my very practical and sometimes sceptical view on things.
I daydream but at the end of the day I know what still needs to be done.
There is a foundation that needs to be laid before you can venture off if you wish to.

But I guess if a seemingly golden opportunity comes along, I wonder how many of us will go for it.

But nice song (:

There is just something special about film.
You go around collecting shots from different places of different things and with different people.
You aren't sure how exactly the photos turn out and there's this excitement that grows inside.
And after you have developed your photos, you look back on the memories that you have managed compile in one roll.

(:

And one Korean drama with my allllllllll time favourite Lee Dong Wook.
Normally I die within the first episode when I was Korean dramas cause they are like so naggy, dramatic and full of cheesy lines but this one ain't so bad.
I foresee this drama becoming another My Name is Kim Sam Soon or My Girl YAY.

As the clock strikes 12 and I turn the supposedly big 21, I'm listening to Asian Kung Fu Generatoon's Solanin.
A song about growing up and growing out of your old younger self, a song about self-discovery and making a conscious effort to change and improve.

That is what I want to achieve as I grow older.
I want to be more mindful, learn, mature and gain wisdom.
I also want to be a righteousness and kind person and I wish to never veer off track or lose myself as I enter the adult working world that can be so cold and cruel.

I want to love and be loved, I want to have a happy family and a child that will be a good and sincere person.
I also wish for my parents to stay healthy and happy and I am
grateful for being such fantastic parents despite their humanely flaws.

Wow this is getting a little out of topic.
But well happy birthday to myself :)
21 is just a number but I am definitely at a period of my life where I feel more like an adult than ever before :)

I am someone who gets easily frustrated at myself.
Time and time and time and time again.

I wish I could earn money and support myself opening a cafe, doing flower arrangements, going for long walks, listening and sharing good music and traveling the world.

No more of this business mindset and trying to fit into the corporate world shit.

Having troubles taking my second round interview seriously.
Not sure if I am trying to escape from the pressure and stress of it but I just can't get down on preparing for it.
And I am running out of time because I know all I have is the time tonight to prepare.

I just have a thing for the sort of colours that come out on a Polaroid.

You know sometimes it just pops into your head that you really want to hear a song.
A specific song that you love but just have not been listening to for a long time.
So you scroll through your music looking for that old neglected tune and when you play it, you just can't stop listening to it.

I have been listening to Damien Rice's Elephant on repeat for days and I can't stop.

I love it that he breaks my heart <3

I got to the second round of interviews for the HR scholarship.
This time round, it's 3 males vs the previous interviews with 3 females.
And it is all CEO level vs Director level in the previous round.
FREAKING NERVOUS.
Don't know what to expect sia.

These days I've just been so busy.
From handball to OCIP to scholarship preparation, finding it hard to catch my breath and have some time for myself.

I have a feeling the next term is going to be like that too but I will persevere.
GO GO GO.

On a side note, many nice new Japanese dramas coming out YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Hehe.

Can never get sick of this cover.


Tell me, do you know?

Kengo Kora.
Anne Suzuki.
I've been waiting for months!

Life is strange.
Sometimes you find yourself in situations and environments that you never ever expected yourself to be in.
Nothing is as unpredictable as life.

And so, now I find myself shortlisted for the National HR Scholarship with CapitaLand.
Interview next Friday and I don't know what to expect.
Never applied for a scholarship before nor have I been to a scholarship interview, I am sure it'll be different from a normal internship interview.
I have already failed one internship interview so this is nerve-wrecking stuff for me right now.
My grades are also not fantastic, my track record is not fantastic, I am not fantastic and I don't know how am I going to get the scholarship but I will give it my best shot and we will see how it goes.

I will leave it to the hands of fate like I always do.
I wanted to apply as an attempt to find a direction for me to head towards from this point forward.
So if I get it, that would be a big help but if I don't, at least I tried to do something about my life (:

And back to Hana and Alice.
I randomly felt like watching it today.
It's a queer Japanese movie I remember seeing when I was in secondary school, barely remember much of it and I only recall feeling like this was such a weird dreamy movie but hey years later, it suddenly pops out in my memory and I felt like watching it again.

Right.
Whenever I get so affected and I just want to get things off my chest, I forget whatever else I said before and did not even use my capital letters.
Very often I find myself always forgetting the little promises I make to myself.

I injured my arms during training.
Fucking stupid really.
I wanted to challenge myself and push myself, properly doing the whole routine with Kailing and in the end, I strained my arms.
Thought it was no big deal and went for training again on Saturday.
Over-exerted and now it's just fucking painful.
Never felt such pain in my arms, ever.
Can't brush my teeth proper, can't even take off my shirt without it hurting like fuck and can't even eat properly.
CAN'T EVEN EAT PROPERLY, OH THE HORRORSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS :'(

*Michelle Lai, remember breakfast at Provence? I was in pain trying to put the damn Egg Toast in my mouth :(

But still, although it hurts like fuck and I can't stop saying fuck, I know i gave it my all.
I did every single step of the routine properly and without cheating.
I am proud of Kailing and myself for completing the routine with integrity and determination and now I just hope my body will stop being so damn weak and recover NAOZ.

In the time being, I will laze around the house, drink from a straw cause I can't even lift up a cup to my lips without cursing and read my book.
I just looked out my window and realised today is such a beautiful day, a perfect day to listen to The Cranberries.
One of those sunny days where the sky is a clear blue, the clouds are opaque, the trees are extra green, the wind is blowing my curtains and I am sipping on ice cold drink.

This reminds me of my secondary days, when there was a period nearing exams where I would go home every day, pop in The Cranberries into my cd player and take a nap in my school uniform.
Lazy habits are the best habits imo.

And today I felt like a little kid again, my parents had to take care of me, check on me and bring me to the sensei. I feel embarassed but nonetheless still very grateful. <3

i think i have some serious problems letting go of emotions i feel.
gotta let it rollllllllll, rollllllllllll, rollllllll off my back.

Ello.
Ok I realised I am always too damn lazy to type properly so from now onwards, I shall type with proper capital letters.
I realised while having done report after report in SMU that I am not entirely sure when do I use capital letters.
BIG UH OH.

So yes, this is the start of a new good habit.

Been just living life one day at a time.
Concentrating on work during the weekdays and then concentrating on enjoying during the weekends.
Clocking way too little sleep for my liking but I like to feel like I am utilising my time to the fullest (:

And now just for gushing:

Impossible project.
HQ in Austria, factory in Netherlands.
Saved the last Polaroid production plant and sells awesome Polaroid cameras and newly created Polaroid films online.
opened a project space in Tokyo, Japan.

I WANTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.
SO BEAUTIFULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
More reason to <3 Tokyo.

when you read, you reflect and you question.
and i am at a point in my life where i can't help but question my future.
my future career-wise, love-wise, family-wise and also on a much deeper and personal level.
i honestly don't know what to expect and because i don't have any lofty ambitions nor concrete goals, i feel as though i am floating in an ocean and just being swept wherever by the waves.
all along i have always unconsciously yet loyally held on to the belief that everything will work out alright in the end but now that i am older and closer to being pushed out into the working world, i realised that clinging on to such a thought can be just plain silly.
time to make your own decisions, put in the extra effort and think long term.

as i write this i realised i am torn between being idealistic and being realistic.
i feel like i have to do what i am supposed to do, go out and get a proper job and work for years and years.
and yet, i feel like there is no way i am going to be satisfied and there's a much deeper level of happiness and self-fulfillment that i need to ultimately obtain.
how am i going to do so, i have no idea and i worry that i will be like those characters in books where a sort of mid-life crisis hits and you realised that your life is meaningless.

ok crap i think i have been too much murakami but as much as it troubles me, i know its the right kind of thing to put more thought into.

sometimes i feel that reading a book can be dangerous.
a good book brings you places and influences your thoughts and feelings.
and i wonder if a good book can actually change your life?

seriously contemplating exchange again.
another 15k bomb sigh.
i should be saving the money for my future or something omg.

looking back at my pictures from all the way since year 1 of uni, it kind of hit me.
did i lose myself along the way?
i think i've come to a point where i think too much, i try to predict too much, i try to plan my actions too much.
i remember when i used to take on whatever came my way with this enthusiasm that was oblivious to consequences.
and i was so much happier then i think.
so maybe it's time to be myself again (:

华丽的冒险_陈绮贞

And work starts tomorrow.
I don't know why but I am feeling quite nervous, way more than I did during my temp job at Citibank.
But we shall see how it goes (:

And all employees' hand phones need to be left at security because they are afraid the radiation will get to them.
So no phone with me at all I bet I will be very efficient :D

And while I enjoy my last few hours of freedom, I am online being a fan girl.
I have not been such a fan girl since my JC days with Yiting.
This time it's a Korean boy band- Beast.
HEHEHEHEHE.

Why they so good looking, can dance so well, can sing so well and all around my ageeeeeeeeee.
Especially Lee Ki Kwang <3
Saranghaeyo wor HAHAHHA.

Because I always have an irresistible urge to share things that I like yet it breaks my heart when people don't like it too.
So, here is where a blog comes handy and I can consolidate all the wonderful things I came across for my own viewing pleasure :D

To Kill a King - "Maps" (Acoustic Cover) by To Kill A King

What a cover of Maps <3

Because deep inside I am still a fan girl.
Miura Haruma, born 1990 too can you believe it?!
Marry me? HEHE.

レミオロメン ３月９日 ~ending ver~ 『LIVE』

Art is the product or process of deliberately arranging items (often with symbolic significance) in a way that influences and affects one or more of the senses, emotions, and intellect. It encompasses a diverse range of human activities, creations, and modes of expression, including music, literature, film, photography, sculpture, and paintings.

I love Japanese Art then.
There's just something about the Japanese and I don't believe I'm giving them more credit than they deserve.

Got back from the 'Lands of Sinful Food'- Taiwan and Hong Kong yesterday.
Drank more milk tea than water HEHE.

On my way back from Hong Kong, I suddenly had a strong urge to buy a book to read on the plane ride back.
By the way I love plane rides, especially when it's a night flight. When the lights are turned off and everyone around me are asleep, I love it when I have my little reading light turned on and it's like I have created my own little world while still having the people by my side.

So I set off in search of a book and I knew exactly what I was looking for and I finally found in at the FIFTH bookshop I went to in the airport TSK.

There's just something about Haruki Murakami.
Maybe it's the Japanese blood.
But I have read other books by Japanese authors that I have not liked as much as his.
There's something very simple, honest, thoughtful and effortlessly elegant in his words.
And he sure knows how to write chapter endings that just leave you dying for more more more now now now.

I am only a few chapters through the thicker-than-a-hamburger The Wind-up Bird Chronicles but I have a feeling I am going to really enjoy this book.
I don't know what to exactly, as always of his books, but even if the ending does not meet my expectations I know at least I will at least enjoy the process of reading very very much.