i realised im someone who is really afraid of loss.
cant handle it at all.
even with i guess insignificant things such as the contacts in my phone or losing my wallet, i remember i couldnt deal with these things when i was younger.
i believe im slightly better now but i know ive never been good at letting go of things and moving on.
i just wallow in misery actually HAHA.
i believe im not the type of psycho girls who cant let go then go all stalker but im the type that would just keep it to myself and just be miserable all day every day or something :/

just imagining what if i were to lose my parents, i think i would just go insane.
i cant imagine such a thing and i know i cant even handle such a thought.
its absolutely terrifying, i just dont have that courage.

anyway,
exhausted from today, been out from 8 plus in the morning till 9 plus at night.
had my smu cip event bonding day together from 8 plus to 1 plus (:
then went to ps with yihui and some of my group mates then went to cine to meet qian.
transformers!
i can believe i managed to slip into moments of blissful unconsciousness during the movie HAHA.
amidst all the gunshots and explosions i cant believe i managed to sleep.
the SUPER COMFORTABLE cine theatre chairs definitely was one of the factores.
although i can like hear everything but when i close my eyes wow i felt so comfortable and relaxed.
but i woke up after like 5 mins lah HAHA.
i was like 'wake up you dumbass why are you sleeping during transformers?!'
ok lah the movie was not bad but the first movie was DEFINITELY better.
at least they were not selling megan fox's body so blatantly.
but one thing that i think the second movie did better was the actions scenes between the robots which were clearer and had more screentime.
IT WAS SO COOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
and when optimas prime like 'upgraded' i was like 'WAH DAMN COOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL' heh.
HAHAHA oh my gosh i sound so like some machinery fan.

and damn it i left my hairband in the cinema.
WHY AM I ALWAYS LOSING HAIRBANDS/HAIRTIES/CLIPS ETC.
really sick of losing all my hair accesories sigh.
then went around town during some shopping that we had to do and before we know it it was like going to be 8 and we told our family we would be home for dinner.
went to run some errands on my own in westmall and reached home at 9 plus feeling totally wiped out.

and yesterday met cherlyn and fiona for timbre.
pizza was good, chicken wings couldnt go wrong and the music was awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
i think they were called acoustic trip, SO DAMN AWESOME and yet they went unappreciated and that really pissed me off.
but they knew i was always listening and clapping for them so i hope it made them feel slightly better.
a huge bunch of drunk middle aged crazy ang mohs definitely didnt make things better and they even took over the stage from them and wrecked havoc.
such assholes seriously.
then went to have cherlyn's birthday cake at the old parliament house and took pictures at the steps HAHAHA.
left at around 11 and took a bus home.
ended up sleeping at like 1 plus, woke up at 2 plus suddenly, had trouble sleeping and woke up at 7.
I WAS TOTALLY ZOMBIE-FIED.
but i still dragged myself down to smu.
had to slap myself a couple of times to bring me back to earth.

my weekend shall be spent recharging then its off for 3 day freshman teambuilding camp on monday then more cip days right after i get back.
GAMBATTE HEH.