thank you yiting yuslina and yuling for the home made chocolate birthday cake and box of treasures! <3<3<3
although their attempt at surprising me totally failed, it was still very sweet!
thank you all :D
hockey has been a blast thanks to you guys <3
and of course ill treasure the box with the pictures, captions and letters :D
the box makes me smile everytime i look through the content, its HILARIOUS.
and yiting didnt forget to put some of kim jong wook, shinee, big bang and choi jong hun inside HAHAHAHA <3
and this year it seems like my birthday has lasted for so many days and the joy it has given me as remained for so long and im very thankful :D

i appreciate that my birthday has been a special occasion for me to feel all the love around me and its has given me alot of much needed strength.
this has been the best birthday ive ever had!
thank you everyone

school has been pretty boring, but its time for me to concentrate on As anyway!
and tmr is careers day so it'll be full of course and university talks, hope i get inspired!

and here are some pictures from racial harmony day and the dinner with deniseleong and michelle lai :D

currently im suffering from an intensely aching right arm and a very bad sunburn/suntan.
but the past few days have been fun :D

after playing so much wii at joan tay's place, qian opy joan tay and i were suffering from aching right arms.
and omg it was seriously hilarious.
we were playing like this those 2 player fighting games and we have to like stab/slash/run around/swing etc HAHAHA AND IT WAS SO INTENSE OMG.
you've got qian the bloody like hamster running on the spot and swinging her arms back and forth as though she was sprinting.
and then you've got me the nutcase making huge swings and turning in circles HAHA.
and joan the mega calm woman HAHA SUCKER.
and opy the nutcase who was at a loss at how to operate the thing at first.
but it was so funny we were like making so much noise and looking insane swinging the wii HAHAHA.
we would start of like calming sitting on the sofa then we'll end up on our feet and like intensely battling it out HAHAHA.
but seriously my triceps/biceps are FREAKING PAIN.
like i cant lift my arm and turn my arm without feeling this horrible pain :(

woke up early on sat and went for the inter jc frisbee competition.
we were at the grange road teacher's college thing from like 8 to 5, soaking up the sun.
cj got 4th, losing to ac by 3 points and rj by 1 point.
i still feel very guilty for pulling down the team but i had fun playing frisbee :D
and thank you for the birthday song that was sung for me before i left :D
went home with carmen, who turns out stays damn near me!
like i can even walk to her house.
went to great world to buy food and turns out she eats as much crap as me HAHA, took a bus down to commonwealth where we explored this food court and had desert before taking train home :D
michelle lai and jodie, sorry for not meeting you guys!
i was so tired i knocked out at like 10.

had physics and math tuition with jiajun on sun.
he manipulated me to splurge on ramen when i was full! HAHA.
after physics tuition we walked and walked and walked and finally settled on cuppage where i had chashu ramen for 13 freaking bucks ouch.
then went to study at starbucks and i got to eat very delicious new york cheesecake and debate over physics with the very guai lan jiajun.
after math tuition went to meet michelle lai and denise leong for dinner at taka.
crystal jade where we ordered a pretty weird combination of dishes to share but it was delicious!
and thanks for the present deniseleong!
reminds me of the good old retarded times sitting next to you <3
slacked around and did stupid things and took stupid pictures before going home at like 9+
it was nice meeting up with you two for my birthday :D:D:D

and today fiona passed me her birthday card thanks so much love :D
after school we had class photo taking, then stayed back for my compulsory private physics consultation cause i suck that badly at physics.
went to eat with guan min and hari then went home.
ive been lazing around omg and its 8+ but ive yet to touch my work :(

extension of birthday thank yous: hong taa, bryan, boon hong, fiona


and a picture from the hockey celebration <3


and here's a korean song called energy by a group called mighty mouth.
i really like it right now cause it makes me all happy and i just feel like jumping around everytime i hear it HAHA.
so if you're feeling down, hope this brightens up your day like how it always does for me :D

time to go do physics!
sayonara :D

edit/
NO I WILL NOT HIDE THIS FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD!
thank you so much deborah khoo, clifton yeo and clifton's brother.
omg pretended to ask me to go online to do some survey but actually to use skype to video call me and play for me starlight!
thanks for keeping your promise clifton :D
and you guys gave me a very enjoyable half an hour with your muse songs!
YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE THANK YOU SO MUCH <3

makes me love muse all over again <3

its 12.58 and i have to wake up early tmr at 6am for the frisbee competition and i ought to be getting some very needed rest, but i really needed to write this.

well my birthday is on 25th july, which was yesterday.
thank you everyone for making it such a special and happy day for me.
i was really very grateful and happy :D

i first celebrated my birthday with lois jodie jasmin and michelle lai last night.
after frisbee training i rushed down to paragon to meet them and we had dinner at soup restaurant.
we ordered like this set meal thing so it was like a group of us eating like a family- with rice, soup and dishes etc
it felt soooooooo homely and it was one of the best dinners i ever had <3
then we went on to chill at coffee bean plus hilarious phototaking and exchanging of bags.
and also special hello to jasmin!
although ive not seen you in so long cause you were overseas, yet we could still talk like we used to :D
AND THANKS FOR THE BIRTHDAY PRESENTS, YOU ALL WERE VERY CUTE.
it was pretty obvious with all the nudging and whispering but everytime i saw you all do it, a smile just creeped on my face because i felt so touched (:



reached home late and had to rush the sgc.
and while i was up till 1+ in the morning, thanks for all the wishes <3<3

well the first person who wished me was DENISE LEONG!
HAHA she really smsed me EXACTLY at 00:00 HAHA
thanks love for setting the alarm HAHA :D
and of course qian, yiting, clifton yeo rockstar (especially for the home made birthday song video), guan min, natalie, leon gim who also wished me before i slept

woke up in the morning and thank you for the wishes aiming and teresa.
i really appreciated it, especially so from you all (:

was almost late for school HAHA
basically thank you EVERYONE who wished me in school <3<3<3
cant list everyone but i appreciated it alot :D
but of course special thanks goes to 2t26 and hockey people
for the birthday surprises with the cakes, cards and gifts :D:D:D
RACHEL YOU ARE REALLY VERY CUTE, THE CARD WAS VERY SWEET <3
in the morning 2t26 surprised me, i really didnt see it coming cause i was content with the wishes i got from them when i entered the classroom.
couldnt help by cry HAHAHA.
and after school i got tricked by camille cause she said she wanted to meet me to get the hockey fund HAHA.
IT WAS REALLY A VERY CUTE SURPRISE.

and after the hockey surprise, killed time in class with nigel by playing two man bridge and sharing the blueberry cheesecake i got from the hockey people (:
then left to tiong bahru to meet qian and joan tay <3<3
went over to joan tay's place and opy came over.
SPENDING TIME WITH YOU GUYS IS ALWAYS AWESOMEEEEEEEEEE <3
we were over till 11+ doing the most retarded things and till we were like rolling on the floor laughing HAHAHAH.
then cabbed home with opy :D



and also thanks to tingwei, jiwei, arthur, shun yee, hong taa, deborah khoo and ashley.
and of course thanks for the very touching and cute birthday presents that ive received <3<3<3

but i think the most significant birthday present i received is confirmation, realisation, acceptance and support.
turning 18 is something different from all other birthdays, i believe that is a time for a higher level of maturity.
hopefully turning 18 will be a turning point in my life and happiness is what i will have in stored for me.
i still stay true to the wish i made this morning.
i wish for everyone, including myself to be happy and do well for A levels

well so frisbee competition tmr.
tuitions on sun then meeting deniseleong for dinner!
and maybe qian, michelle lai and joan tay yayyyy :D

and omg total lack of sleep over the past few days and omg ill only be able to get like 4.5 hours of sleep today :(
OYASUMI NASAI EVERYONE.
take care and i love you all :D

picture spam:
(i was just browsing through fredflare again)












those colourful lips are actually bandages! HAHAHA SO CUTE.
and now fred flare just got their hands on the japanese talking watch in PURPLE, ARGH.
mine's in white and i want to trade it for purpleeee :(

today:
IT WAS POURING IN THE MORNING.
walking across the overhead bridge through strong gusts of wind and rain sucks.
and when i was almost at the bottom of the bridge, i slipped and fell on my ass.
bounced down a few steps too, UTTERLY EMBARRASING.
and very painful too :(
cause my elbow hit the step and my arm was aching all day :(
i would like to thank the nice guy who helped me picked up the things i dropped though, you were a big help :D

today was yuling's and sam lee's birthday!
gave yuling muffins with yus and yiting :D
i was actually in the middle of my double physics but i pretended to go to the toilet to go for the muffin giving birthday surprise.

after school rushed to meet michelle lai at the bus stop.
HAHAHA THANKS FOR COMING DOWN JUST TO PASS ME SHOES.
although i cant believe you didnt wash them for months and expect me to wear them but beggars cant be choosers HAHA.
<3<3<3

went for like frisbee training cause of this competition that shijing and i are joining with some other people from my school.
i am totally not up for it, my frisbee skills are crap!
i felt very bad during the whole training cause of my terrible performance.

took the bus home and i decided to take another route home.
im enjoying this take a long walk home after school alone thing :D
this time i walked along the road home instead of 945.

reached home in time for my terminator sarah conner chronicles HAHA.
so no work done today either :(

tmr: racial harmony dress up day :D

youtubeing rachel yamagata right now.
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER.
i love her music, i love her lyrics, i even think she's super pretty.
but her songs are usually so sad, but nonetheless extremely inspiring.
i love listening to her music at night alone.
either walking along a dark quiet road or on an empty bus, maximum enjoyment (:
i am very afraid of loneliness, i think especially since im an only child, but sometimes being alone makes me feel at peace.

today i decided to walk around westmall myself after school.
i was contemplating going to far east myself and getting hair ties and threading my eyebrow but changed my mind.
so i walked around, borrowed a book from the library, bought hairties and bought red bean pancakes all while listening to my ipod.
great feeling (:
i like it that my music is so loud that i cant hear the people all around me so its as though the whole world is functioning with my song playing in the background (:

friday
zhao loong brought this hard disk/mp4/dont know what thing to school so we could watch movies in class!
watched v for vendetta and transformers (:

went to meet qian at far east!
ask her cut hair with me she was like ok, then eh dont feel like, then eh what time you end school today ah?
HAHAHA MEGA SUCKER OMG.
although i only met her for a short while, eat and accompany her to cut hair, it was a hilarious time.
love you love you love you, you brighten up my days :D

rushed back to school for inter class floorball.
wasted, lost by 1 penalty shot.
but at least our class played really well :D
dinner at toa payoh afterwards (:

sat
math tuition, met my mum for dinner.
wow we ate at this damn delicious bird nest cafe tucked inside og (next to centrepoint) yum yum :D

sun
physics tuition
my grandma's birthday high tea!
i got to see my adorable cousin rico <3<3<3
ah he's so fattttttt but so so so kawaii omg, he has a super handsome face :D
and he's so hyperactive!
always running around, smiling to everyone, laughing at everyone, talking to everyone.
and then he'll run to me and teach me new tricks he learnt from my dad and he'll sit on my lap and ill hug him while he plays.
I LOVE HIM HE'S SO CUTE <3
and of course my cousin ivan who is just a year older than me, he's really like a brother i never had :D

mon
went with yiting after school to town.
went from like cine to taka to ps.
spent hoursssssss searching high and low.
HAHA we were so tired, like 2 zombies being dragged around town.
but of course time spent with her is always awesome <3<3
took the bus home from ps and i met my mum on the bus!
HAHAHAHAHA
somehow i always do.
i was like sleeping but i woke up to check my phone and replied my mum's sms.
then i looked up and i saw my mum standing there laughing at me! HAHAHAHAHA
turns out she was on the bus for like doing know how long but i was sleeping heh.
reached home at like 9+, 10 and i just bathed and slept :/
no work done AGAIN

today
nothing happened HAHA.
yet another boring day in school with boring lessons and boring work.
but my class played basketball during recess, that was pretty fun (:
and then after school i just went to the canteen and took the bus home (taking a detour to roam westmall)

tmr:
boring lessons again.
plus double physics OH NO KILL ME.
well i actually like physics tutorial the most out of all the tutorials but DOUBLE OF IT.
no no no cannot tahan :(
and tmr not going for the hockey cip anymore :(
miss hockey

i shall go have my daily dose of cheer up korean entertainment medicine :D
shinee's star golden bell and epik high's love love love.
and of course do my normal distribution tutorials.
obviously i have more work to do but i never sacrifice sleep for work sigh lazyyyyyy :(
sayonara (:

im so full of bullshit.
i guess a leopard never changes its spots.
i absolutely lack the determination and calmness.

at least the dark knight was awesome.
it is a very very very very very good movie.
i think its got to be one of the best movies ive watched this year (although i havent watched many)
very witty and full of little teasers if you can catch them.
and very well scripted plot, absolutely exciting :D
and i loved the camera angles and visual effects.

on a random note, there's this movie coming out that i really want to watch.
midnight meat train
based on the 1984 cult horror story by clive barket, midnight meat train tells the tale of a serial killer who brutally butchers innocent strangers in the sub way. the only person aware of his actions is a struggling photographer who's determined to bring the murders to an end.
it may sound sadistic but i enjoy watching mystery/thriller movies
when i was young i mostly read murder mysteries like agatha christie too :x

didnt meet jodie and michelle lai today
changed off plans but we can always meet another day (:

havent been studying the past few days :/
i just have this intense i-dont-want-to-study-at-all feeling at home.
and ive just been watching korean variety shows and laugh so much i end up like literally rolling on the floor.

like yesterday.
oh my goddddddd i was overwhelmed with this horrible feeling.
i went to cut my hair in town AND OMG.
DISASTER HAIRCUT NUMBER 697629753
ive lost count of the millions of gross haircuts that ive got :(
i told him layer ABIT and dont thin cause like i dont want my already balding ponytail to look even thinner but he was like 'but i think it'll be very old fashioned'
and wow he chopped off, layered and thinned like my whole head off :(
so now ive got like shoulder length thinnnnnnnnn hair and my ponytail is what i would call an ah lian ponytail :(
so i emoed my way home on the bus and when i got home i just watched the tv/star golden bell online
and around 8+ when i was finally resigning myself to studying, joan tay called me.
HAHA but at least talking to her is always fun HAHA she's so full of crap but i love her so much :D
talked till like 10+ and i just decided to sleep.
a sad end to yet another day and ive yet to start studying though prelims are like just 6 (going to be 5) weeks away :(

well i can only take things a day at a time now.
need to get my priorities straight.
A LEVELS YO.

a couple of really gorgeous black and white pictures from the talented photographer ansel adams (absolutely love his photographs)






i feel like giving up.
thats one of the characteristics of o blood type HAHA.
although most people dont believe in blood type characteristics but i find it very interesting and sometimes accurate (:
failure failure failure useless useless useless why why why.
am i really so weak

monday:
i was in a good mood in the morning (:
lessons till 3
bridge
apple juice + aloe vera
home

tuedays:
HORRIBLE LESSONS.
horrible to the max, i died.
totally crashed and burned.
and today's pe (games day) was replaced with the stupid national day dance session, and i heard there are 3 more?
SOMEBODY TAKE ME AWAY :(
went to town with yiting after school :D
i really need to cut my hair and thread my eyebrows :(
reached home at like 6+, turned on the tv and star golden bell was showing on kbs world HAHA
it's one of my favourite korean variety shows (:

tmr is going to be a very day with horrible lessons again.
but at least there's hockey cip after school :D
miss hockey people!

i pray that you'll give me determination and optimism to guide me through.

timely distractions (YAHOOOOO):

shibatora starring teppei koike number one japanese cutie! HAHAHAHHAA

maou which is the japanese remake of the korean drama the devil oohhhhh

osen which is a really funny show about this traditional japanese restaurant and the people working in it
every episode they like focus on like a particular significant japanese dish (daiko which is radish, miso soup etc) and IT ALWAYS LOOKS SO OISHI I CRAVE IT AFTER WATCHING THE EPISODE HAHA
it really makes me love japanese food more more more!

and im waiting for the hana yori dango movie to be subbed and put on the net YAY YAY YAY

and i have other shows lined up for me to watch HAHA
trick
love 2000
the devil
cartoon kat-tun
bleach
delightful girl choon yang
HAHAHAHAHA

oh gosh but at least shows bring me momentary joy :D

time to go do physics!

embrace it and move on as a better person.
ill always remember these words michelle lai (:

and today i read my horoscope and it said that decisions made today will change my life for the better!
AND YES I DID MAKE A LIFE CHANGING DECISION TODAY :D
i was also told to focus on self improvement.
yes because a life lived for others is a life not worth living.

tues
begged mrs leong to let me skip geog extra lesson and give me a make up
all because of a special someone who called me and sounded so depressed and asked me to accompany her.
so i skipped class and went down to meet her at coro.
cosy corner, squeezing on a random bench and grocery shopping <3
ended up buying two cartons of milk cause it was on sale HAHA
i love you i love you i love you
and i will always be here for you :D

wed
met yihui!
sorry love i know i was a total emo kid.
but i could always count on you to be my support <3
then went down to ps myself to get guan min's birthday cake

thurs
guan min's birthday!
a veryveryvery long and tiring day, i think ive reached my limit.
pe was 6 rounds and basketball.
at least i was way more determined this time and ran the 6 rounds in a way less pathetic state :D
and ive lost touch with basketball HAHA.
dad fetched me home after school (:

friday
REVELATION :D:D:D:D:D
came home after school
bathed, squeezed in some shows HAHA, changed then rushed out of the house to meet michelle lai at wheelock
went to taka and met deniseleong for dinner
minor setback but times spent with them are always enjoyable :D
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

and over the weekend i shall be doing geog and physics and watching shows HAHA.
i feel like that is a pretty good combination.
im all geared up for this self improvement.
just like how hermit crabs have to change their shells snakes have to shed their skin to grow.
HAHAHA a pretty discovery channel way of explaining it but michelle lai still made her point clear to me.
and ill keep it in mind <3

feeling bored yet lazy :/
but its ok im going to take after qian and stay at home and slack.
besides my cramps are killing me so ill probably not even be in the mood to go out (which is super rare)

thurs
met leon gim at amk
the strangers!
well although the ending was really quite bad, as in they didnt explain etc.
but i still REALLY like the movie, and the cast was really good.
scott speedman, liv typer and gemma ward.
i was super scared during the movie HAHAHA
so its just so damn intense and the director did a good job had making it really suspenseful.
and the director used really interesting methods to scare you, not just the typical BWAHHHHHHHHH TAKE YOU BY SURPRISE AND SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU method.
like at the corner of the screen, behind the character, you see the killer slip out from the darkness and just stand there wearing his stupid freaky mask and look at the character while she drinks her cup of water.
and the scene lasts for like half a min and the camera is focused on the character while kind of blurring out the killer so it's like you know he's there and so FREAKING CLOSE but yet he's so psycho and he's not doing anything yet.
and i swear i was like MEGA FREAKED OUT HAHAHA.
ok sorry i like smart shows, unique camera angles, interesting methods of filming and a good story plot always does it for me :D
i dont like dumb shows, so there's no way ill willingly watch something like the zohan movie or get smart HAHA.

and i totally DIEDDDDDDDD during pe.
cause we were doing pt and the last time i exercised was like my last hockey a div match so its like IM MEGA UNFIT NOW.
and we had to run 8 rounds and i DIED.
TOTALLY DIED.
i felt really angry at myself for being such a loser but i really couldnt run.
and the freaking mucus in my nose is like connecting to my phelgm so its like this line of gross shit choking me while i run and try and breathe through my nose.
and i kept slowing down, SO FRUSTRATINGGGG.
and omg grand stands, I DIDNT EVEN FINISH THE 8 TIMES.
AND I WALKED. OMG I SERIOUSLY WALKED.
i felt really annoyed at myself but its my own fault for being so unfit.

fri

bridge after school.
i actually dont really enjoy playing bridge so much in class.
cause its like i feel very inactive, i want to go out and play sports!
but oh well my class always plays bridge, but of course i still generally enjoy it lah.
then far east lunch with some class people.
then my stomach hurt like SHIT.
it was so freaking painful, stupid cramps.

sat

math tuition, fell asleep again.
sampling is really dull you know.
taka dinner at grill mr sushi shop.
IT WAS MEGA DELICIOUS.
seriously one of the best japanese saba fish sets ive eaten (wasabi tei's one is pretty good too)
but of course im a poor kid so ive not tried many delicious places HAHA

sun
physics tuition
wow camille and i were so hardworking :D:D *pat on our backs*
met qian and we went to taka sushi tei for lunch
met clifton! HAHA HELLO.
didnt walk around much cause we BOTH got our periods (er yay buddy periods HAHA :D) and my cramps were setting in.
cramps for me seriously mean hell.
i swear i never struggled with cramps when i was in secondary school :(
shopped a little at taka but i didnt find anything, or maybe i wasnt looking hard enough HAHA.
i cant really concentrate when i have cramps :(
and i think im also screwing with my stomach by eating irregular meals.
like ive been spending the past hour trying to eat my food while watching my shows HAHA

tmr- stay at home and relax.
ok i must not think its a bad thing (:

btw i came across this SUPER COOL PERSONALITY TEST, thanks clifton for telling me about it.
i swear its so damn accurate omg.
go try it if you want, im SI
http://ipersonic.com/test.html
if you try it, let me know what you are HAHA
i find such things very interesting :D

adjectives that describe me: spontaneous, enthusiastic, idealistic, extroverted, theoretical, emotional, relaxed, friendly, optimistic, charming, helpful, independent, individualistic, creative, dynamic, lively, humorous, full of zest for life, imaginative, changeable, adaptable, loyal, sensitive, inspiring, sociable, communicative, erratic, curious, open, vulnerable

very true.
i have like this on off switch you know, i can be very happy but i can also be very sad.
and im like super sensitive so it switches alot, but when im happy im really very happy HAHA.

wow such a long entry, but it felt good just like rambling HAHA
have a nice youth day everyone! :D

HAHA i dont like wordy entries so im just going to put a random picture of this korean band im really into now HUR HUR HUR
they are called shinee (pronounched shiny HAHAHA)
the bangs old man in the middle is not part of them HAHA

i know i have to go out and find my own happiness and it wont come to me just like that but there is no happiness here for me.
and i seriously dont understand why you keep complaining when you are in a situation that you're so familiar and comfortable with, which is worlds apart from what im used to.
things are worse for me than they are bad for you so maybe you should just back off.

tuesday
watched wanted
very bad movie, we were all dying after that cause we felt so cheated.
fiona and i were like falling asleep halfway through the show.

wednesday/today
met qian and joan tay at paragon
bakerzinn :D
its been soooooo long but omg IT WAS SO HILARIOUS I LAUGHED SO MUCH MY STOMACH HURT LIKE CRAP
they are such retarded people omg <3
paragon, tangs, ps
played silent hill with joan tay HAHA we love that game
met preena and alvin at the arcade!
desert and long talks at the foodcourt
wow thanks for the good advice <3

walked qian to the bus stop
went to joan tay's house
alot of free good food again
played with her dogs
she taught me 3 songs on the piano, OMG SHE'S SO PATIENT CAUSE IM SUPER LOUSY
and once again we did so many stupid things but i had a greattttttttttt time
dragon claw, tiger paw, monkey punch, cricket twirl, phoenix dance, mentis kick, panda clap HAHAHHAHAHA I LOVE YOU
left at like 10 and cabbed home

school tmr again
at least there's pe and double break yay
meeting leon gim after that :D