I really can't get myself to concentrate on studying for mid terms.
I think I'm just going to go and whack for CAT mid terms tomorrow.
My mind has been filled with exchange thoughts, one of the worst decisions I had to make in my life.
This reminds me of the time when I made up my mind to go to NUS Real Estate and then my cousin called me up to have a long talk with me trying to convince me to come to SMU instead.
I remember crying like crazy during that conversation, so troubled by the decision that I had to make.

You know the feeling where you just go ahead and do something for the sake of it.
I applied for my exchange for the sake of applying because everyone applies in summer.
I applied for Europe because it's what people normally do.
What I truly wanted was Japan but I was scared because they were all either 1 or 2 slots and the term period was really bad.
I chose Netherlands not because I really wanted to go there but because I was limited due to constraints like number of slots and term period.
In the end, I led myself into the shit situation that I am in and now I find myself so unhappy I just want to pull out of exchange.

Because I didn't know what I originally wanted, I just did something for the sake of it and now I have to find a way to get out of it.
I know that the only reason why I would proceed with this exchange would be to take up the challenge and prove that I can do it, and it is not because I really want to go to Netherlands nor is it that I really will be happy living myself in a foreign land.

If I were to reapply for fall semester, I won't be guaranteed a place at all but thank goodness at least OIR told me I don't need to resubmit my academic referrals.

I don't want to bluff myself like I will be happy going on my own, I think I am just going to pull out.
I'll reapply again in fall and if I don't get it, so be it.
At least I know I didn't force myself to do something I didn't want to do.

Today was a good day.

Had lunch with Zhao Loong and Jin Dao at Ah Loy Thai.
Last installment of our Wednesday lunches, bon voyage Zhao Loong (:
3 people, 5 dishes, we were STUFFED. (like a teddy bear hehe)
Continued to test our limits with some Tom's Palette before heading to school.

Unfortunately, cramps got the better of me and I ended up rushing home and knocking out on the bed to fight the cramps.
Woke up past 8 boo.

Then had one of the best suppers ever.

Went to pick up Michelle Lai at Greenwood after her work then spontaneity brought us towards Upper Serangoon Road, then we begin heading down Bartley Road and we decided to pop by Jin Dao's house and ask him if he wanted to hop into the yellow submarine and join us for supper.

First up we decided to head for frog porridge.
Because 1) we wanted something filling 2) I was in the mood to try something I never tried before.
So we set off and we realised, THE SHOP CLOSED DOWN BOOOOOOOOOO.

Neh mind. I give Jin Dao another chance to recommend me something.
So off to Serangoon Central for some fish soup.
Store closed :'(
Got myself some signature ba chor mee instead. Quite meh but it's ok.

Then we decided to try out this little chinese desert shop that we passed by while walking from the car park.
It's run by an elderly couple and the deserts are extremely affordable with a wide variety offered.
We got ourselves some Bubor Hitam and Yam Paste and the elderly lady was extremelyyyyyyyyyyy kind and helpful.
We thanked her for the deserts and water and told her to go home soon to rest, then she shared that by the time she reaches home it'll be 2am :(

Dropped off Jin Dao at his place and headed to Michelle's.
It was nice talking to you in the carpark, thanks for the advice my dear friend :D
After all these years, I am glad to still have you in my life.

Reached home at like 130am.
Didn't get any work done at all the whole day but today has been a good day and helped to refresh my spirits.
Thank you my friends.

And to end of this beautiful night,

Musician Crush: Alister Wright of Cloud Control.
Damn right (:

#Leo people tend to dislike: Taking instructions
#Leo people tend to dislike: Criticism
#Leo people tend to dislike: Coming in second place.

I really feel like shit today.
Just so full of regrets, eating at me from the inside.
Fuck this.

I think this is why I like Japan.

Beautiful scenery.
Good Music.
And this incredibly kind and supportive community spirit.

Although you always read about how the Japanese community is actually very cold and there is a strong case of urban isolation, I feel that they have proven that there have it in them to be united, especially in times of crisis.

I don't know exactly why do I have such a strong interest and I'm not sure if this connection I feel is exactly justified but it's undeniable that Japan has a special place in my heart.

As much as I always strive to be a good person, I am but a flawed human being.
One that feels like she's losing grip on the things around her.
Maybe exchange will be good, change of environment and perhaps new beginnings.

1) I hate being accused of something I didn't do.

2) I hate it when someone else who doesn't understand the situation butts in.

You really don't know when to stop do you.
You think it's very funny but seriously, what's your damn problem.
I am pissed at the same time I'm very disappointed, what an insensitive person.
I am trying really hard to control my feelings, which is why I have to resort to letting it out here.

As a #Leo,Somehow you can be jovial, sunny and friendly, yet remain so independent and authoritative.

But I realised I have a soft spot for emotional people who tend to hide their feelings.
I wish I can be there by their side, be their listening ear and help them in any way I can.

Unless it is mad, passionate, extraodinary love, it is a waste of time.
There are too many mediocre things in life.
Love should not be one of them.

I just had this feeling of pure happiness and joy seeing my friend get attached.
(I'm quite surprised at myself HAHA.)
But I think I recognise what is real joy when I see it and it influenced me immediately!

I'm so so so proud and happy for you, I think you got the right one this time (:
May the love between the two of you grow with time and stay strong!

I need to declare my love for Foals.
Definitely going into my top favourite bands.
Just based on talent, I give it to them for being a bunch of young english lads writing these awesome tunes and playing so well live.
From the epic emotional Spanish Sahara to sexy tunes like Miami and catchy loud songs like Balloons, I can pretty much turn to them during any mood.
Definitely they are not known for writing meaningful songs that tug at your heartstrings, but I'll leave it to other bands to do that for me (:

And when you have a cute drummer, I give you bonus points hehe.






What an acoustic version, love justified <3

I thought we were at least friends, I wasn't expecting anything more.
But I guess we are not cause no one treats their friends like crap.
Your attitude is really shit.

A #Leo woman a is strongly individual and needs to live her life in her own way on her own terms. She needs to get her deserved recognition.

Went for an aunt's wake a couple of nights ago.
She has been battling cancer for a few years along with her husband and only son.
Her son is my age, just turned 21 this year.
While I was helping out at the wake and spoke to him during some moments of the funeral, he seemed to have accepted it so well and had a strong look on his face the whole time.

Since I was young, losing my parents was always my biggest worry.
As an only child with a relatively large age gap from my parents, there was a high probability that I would be on my own in this world at a young age.
I would get these moments where I just panic while I am alone at home and my parents are out and the thought would cross my mind like 'why are they not back yet?', 'what if there was a car accident?' and hurry call them to check.
It is an extremely unnerving feeling that I really hate.

I can only pray for my parents' health and fortune, may they be safe and sound for many years to come, till they see me married and maybe even see their grandchildren.
And when they do pass on, I pray that it would be a natural and painless one.

There is no certainty in our life other than the fact that we were born and we will die.
What is stopping you from doing what you want in between?

Just saw this on Facebook.
Very empowering indeed.