super in love with this mv and this song right now.
but bloody baidu wont let me kope it heh heh.
so sweetttttttttttttt <3

give me courage.
so that i will be able to do the things i truly want to do without giving a shit about anything else.
so that i will be able to conquer my fear of being judged or criticised.
so that i will be able to be myself anywhere anytime and with anyone.

mraz is therapeutic i tell you HAHA.

i would like to credit yihui for some fantastic words:

it's nice to be with good people
because you can be whoever you are and have fun around them without being judged
<3

TOTALLY AGREE :D

had freshmen bash last night/this morning and although i have to admit that i was not thoroughly satisfied cause i guess i was still quite energetic but it was a blast <3

FA group meeting tmr and after that i'll probably go for some talk/meeting.
so many things going on tmr: bondue fondue (which i totally dont feel like going anymore so im going to waste my 8 bucks), gourmet club meeting, barworkz meeting, recreational gaming meeting, cambodia ocip meeting.
all going on tmr at around 3.30 sian :(

i just realised i can think about something for so damn long.
i remain so bothered by something until i feel like im going crazy.
regret really kills me, this terrible feeling fills me up so full and i feel like i cant take it anymore.
and sometimes over the smallest littlest seemingly insignificant things.
sigh and thus i am worrywart wanyin.



listening to this right now while trying to complete my FA case study which is like totally gibberish to me, cant understand a shit its trying to say dieeee :(

i just spent like the last few hours crying over youtube videos HAHAHAHA.
my bloody FA book is wet oops.
ok whatever but i really like watching xin guang da dao, there are some great singers in there man.
and they pick the awesome-est songs :D
started off by watching ni shi wo de yan sang by the original singer who is blind damn damn damn damn touching.

and during the recent episodes of xin guang da dao 5 there is this american guy who is here to like pk them and DAMN HE SINGS SO WELL.
i cried when he sang ni shi wo de yan omg damnnnnnnnnn touching.

johnnychan898
GO WATCH HIS VIDEOS OMG.

yay second week of school is overrrrrrrr!
actually i think it feels pretty good to have a 3 day week even though im taking 5 mods and the projects are piling up.

ANYWAY.

monday was FA where i struggled so damn hard to stay awake and i was mega confused by the content.
sorry prof i tried!!
then went to sis treehouse which is like my new favourite place in smu with yihui and zihao (:
twc was quite dry but quite interesting lah!
then it was off with yihui to explore substation before having dinner at timbre.
we went into this like art exhibition HAHAH DAMN INTERESTING :D
reached home at like 12 sian damn tired :(

tuesday was intro stats and management comm which passed really quickly actually!
then went to 'study' with yihui HAHAHA.
at first we found a gsr that was empty and wah damn shiok ah aircon, blast laptop music and read FA but then turns out people booked it and we had to leave :(
in the end we went to some table outside the library where i proceeded to fall asleep on my FA book HAHAHAHA.

then had dinner at koufu before going for netball clinic!
it was fun and the seniors were real nice (:
but i think i'm more interested in handball :x

thank goodness my parents fetched me back from kallang netball centre, big thank you <3
then proceeded to get hooked onto this new japanese drama called otomen HAHAHA.
shit lah the first 3 episodes just came out and i finished damn too fast and now i have to watch for like eternity for the next episode :(
yesyes its another one of those funny sweet teenage based on the manga japanese dramas HAHAHA.
if you like mei chan no shitsuji/hana kimi you'll surely like otomen HEH.

i would say wednesday was the day i found direction.
bgs was enjoyable!
cause class is super relaxed and prof is so nice can.
prof even plays nice music during break! <3
finally presented out debate so woohoo its over!!!!!
and debate damn relax lah just sit at our chair and talk.

had dinner at koufu where i realised wow the world is so small sometimes HAHA.
went for project namaste talk, I WANT TO GO SO BADLY!!!!!!!!
ok i admit i didnt find out much about the other ocips but after hearing from a member's personal experience last year i want to go so so so so badly.
although i totally crapped for my form cause my mind blanked out but i hope they give me a chance!

then ran over to admin building for handball HAHA.
ok embarassed myself to the max but im used to it HAHA.
i always freak out when im nervous and make the stupidest mistakes argh.
then i get damn wtf wtf wtf why did i do thatttttttt :(

i just hope everyone forgets whatever they saw HAHAHA.
cause i think im serious about handball and im going to join it!
i suck but i want to learn it :D

so if all goes well, i would have handball and namaste to focus on :D

sian driving this afternoon again.
i swear my instructor hates me.
im so freaking hopeless at the circuit.
i dont even feel like showing my face anymore for lessons or even taking the damn test :(

on a happier note, met up with the class yesterday!
miss our tong xiao mahjong so much!
and of course i miss my whole class in general, its so damn comfortable with them and i feel like i dont have to worry a shit about anything else.
went down to jin dao's house after my handball clinic which was quite fun i think im going to join handball HAHA.
so more than 12 hours of mahjong + delicious home-cooked dinner kindly provided by jin dao's family + xbox + wii was very enjoyable :DDDDDDDDDDDD
left at like 6 plus in the morning and cabbed home.
walking along the quiet misty road at some part of serangoon in the nice cool weather gave me a strange sort of peace, loved it man!
although the super bloody loud bullfrogs in the longkang opposite the road grossed me out so bad.


sian now i feel so demoralised i dont even feel like doing no shit.
but ive got financial accounting homework due tmr to dooooooooo :(
just feel like lying on my bed and rotttttttt while spamming videos that im not going to really absorb.

well goodbye!
and i dont know why but i really like this picture :/

hello!

yesterday i was pretty traumatised when i closed my eyes to try and get some sleep and all i saw were hordes of zombies, tanks, smokers, boomers and hunters not good not good :(
met joan tay yesterday for lunch at xin wang!
we always freaking go there omg HAHAHA.
then qian and opy came and it was l4d till 9 HAHA.
then it was more xin wang for late dinner, stuffed ourselves silly followed by silly games <3<3<3

today it was vivace in school which is like our cca fair, damn crowded man!
walked back and forth and back and forth and put my names for loads of things but obviously not going to join us.
i'm still pretty stubborn on only taking 1 cca but i may change my mind and have 2, the second one being in super inactive mode.
put my name down for like floorball, handball, barworks, gourmet club, netball, wakeboarding, smux for more info on one-off activities, women's connection.
think thats it!

then it was off for my bgs project meeting but omg went to the wrong venue siannnnnnnnnnnn.
rushed from econs building to business building only to realise they were at econs building OH MY GOD.
then while i was rushing out of business building i slipped on the way down the escalator HAHAHHA.
gosh :(
brain blanked out during meeting DIE.

then it was off to meet leon gim and guan min :D
we were happily enjoying ourselves out of school at cathay there when i realised i was supposed to meet my faci to take freshmen bash tickets!!!
screamed in shock then proceeded to rush back to econs building sian :/

then it was off to cine in hopes of getting a good timing for the movie orphan but FAILED.
damn it just cause its a friday people are willing to watch whatever and everything is selling fast :(
ended up watching the house on the left.
its those of murdering thrillers, i would say its not bad lah!
its meant to be one of those yet another horror movie but i think it was pretty good at it yo.
i really loved the song during the credits!
but turns out i dont know what its called wah lao trying to find nowwwwww :(
we stayed till like the end of the credits just to find out the song title but i think we didnt wait long enough, we left after seeing a few and we thought that was it :(
ok actually not sure if it was the end but we wait so damn long anyway!
we were like the only ones left, i think the cleaners were already done cleaning HAHA.
then we had our takopachi and teh c peng before going off :D

tmr shall go for handball clinic, sigh im usually very bad at this trying new stuff thing but i shall try my best!
check it out and see how its like :D
then its off to jin dao's house to meet t26 <333333333333333333333

SIGHHHHH.
I AM GOING TO FAIL MY DRIVING.
just came back from my driving lesson.
first time driving at night.
first time i got a different instructor.
first time i was taught new instructions and procedures i never heard before from my previous instructor.
OH MY GOD.
first time went into BBDC circuit.
turn wrong lane, knock down pole while doing the ram SHIT and my SAI parking die die die.

on another note, however not a happier one, i learnt that it was impossible to bring your laptop PLUS books to school because you will just break your arm seriously.
freaking heavy man :(
so now books shall be kept at home FOREVER (ok maybe not) while i only bring my laptop to school :D

today i experienced my 5th and last mod for the term: business goverment and society (bgs)
loved it!
my prof is awesome yay for nice profs and the content is interesting lah though it reminds me of human geog.
but we were thrown into project mode real fast, ive got a debate to prepare for next week ahhhhh.
i shall have my first taste of project work reallllllllll soon.

then rushedddddddd home for driving, gobbled down char siew sio ba rice and rusheddddd back to gombak mrt for driving :(
and wah lao first time having 2 hr lesson too, SIAN.

yesterday had intro stats and management comm.
love my intro stats prof he teaches intro stats so clearly and tries to make it interesting (:
management comm made me freaking nervous cause im so bad at oral presentation really but i know its going to be a useful course (:

then met yihui to go funan for some fooddddddd and check out laptop sleeves.
proceeded to lug all our crap and attempt to find sim lim square on foot.
dropped by bras basar popular where i decided to just buy their damn laptop sleeve, for 12.90 only i must add!!
and in a very in-your-face colour, a mix between neon pink and red HAHAHAHA.
but thats going to help me identify my laptop and spot it if i dropped it somewhere.
by then it was 7 and popular was closing and we rushed back to funan to get yihui's damn laptop sleeve.
JUST IN TIME before the store closed woohoo.
then slacked at macs for mcflurries (the oreo and cornetto one) and htht till 9 plus <3
TOOK THE TRAIN HOME ARGH, WHAT PAIN MY FOREARMS HAVE BEEN EXPERIENCING DURING THE PAST DAYS.

but alas, wednesdays are my fridays and tmr no school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
shall be meeting qian, opy and joan tay before meeting the class <3<3<3

adios!

first day of school was... tiring HAHA.

wah lao lesson from 8.30 to 11.45 then lesson from 3.30 to 6.45 plus i slept for like 4 hours so i was DAMN SLEEPY HAHAHA.
but i think my profs are very nice and funny so im happy with my monday classes :D

had dinner at pasta mania and bought all my books today, OH MY HOLY SHIT.
FREAKING FREAKING HEAVY.
ITS THE HEAVIEST CRAP IVE EVER CARRIED HOME.
stuffed my 5 fat books + my file into 2 flimsy plastic bags and lugged them home sigh it was really quite bad.
my fingers feel very raw HAHA.

and omg i feel damn studious im reading through my financial accounting now!! :DDDDD
reading through chap 1 cause i had not even bought the book yet and neither did i bring my laptop so i was just sitting there and absorbing info using brain power (which is how failure)

yay omg this is quite a good start to uni life!
of MGMT and FA woohoo :D
luckily today twc was slack and interesting + no homework yayyyyyyy.
intro stats and management comm tmr also like nothing so yayyyyyyyy dont have to do anything.

can go play my hard boiled eggs on miniclip later HAHAHAHA LOVE THAT GAME.
just aim and throw eggs at enemies HAHA.

i realised im someone that really treasures a sense of security.
which is something that disappears as you change your environment and surroundings.
as i enter smu i dont feel a sense of belonging or dont really know where to go or who to turn to when im in need of comfort or direction.
i think smu has this warped up mix of independence and gang mentality.
ok but then again i wonder if its just the same everywhere else so i ought to not look at smu so harshly.
10 years in scgs was so safe and comfortable that entering cj was tough for me at first but it was such a comforting feeling watching things unravel and work out and at the end of my cj life, i can look back and say wow that was such an awesome time in cj :D
i really hope my smu life will be like that too.

yes yes to end of this weird emo-ness (HAHAHA), here's my ALL TIME FAVOURITE POEM.
i remember someone showed it to me in sec 3, was it tina neoh? HAHA.
LOVE HER LIT LESSONS OK.
although her eng lessons are you know :x

A.S.J. Tessimond - Day Dream

One day people will touch and talk perhaps
easily,
And loving be natural as breathing and warm as
sunlight,
And people will untie themselves, as string is unknotted,
Unfold and yawn and stretch and spread their fingers,
Unfurl, uncurl like seaweed returned to the sea,
And work will be simple and swift
as a seagull flying,
And play will be casual and quiet
as a seagull settling,
And the clocks will stop, and no one will wonder
or care or notice,
And people will smile without reason,
Even in winter, even in the rain.

hello!

wathching a s league game on channel 5 now HAHA.
gosh damn boring no online drama to watch so i resorted to surfing through the tv channels.
and i came across albirex niigata vs sengkang punggol :D
i actually enjoy watching soccer matches alot even though i cant play the sport for nuts HAHA.
and of course there's incentive cause albirex niigata is a japanese team HUR HUR HUR.
i actually want to go watch a s league match!!!
turns out gombak united is like second team on the s league table or something?
maybe i should just take a walk to gombak stadium and watch their match there :DDDDDD

ive been losing track of the days and before i know it, school is about to start real soon.
ive got my wake up call tmr: convocation at suntec convention :((((((
maybe its cause ive not really gotten on a good start so im not quite looking forward to the start of my smu life.
i can only hope that with time, things work out smoothly for all of us (:
and of course i SERIOUSLY need to start school next monday with optimism, WHY AM I SO EMO OMG?!

yesterday
met qian in town for lunch at wisma food republic plus shopping for convecation and work clothes for me and qian (:
then went down to michelle lai's house for some delicioussssssssssss and quirky home-cooked food by chef lai :D




convocation tmr sian must wake up early and stand on the train in heels!
ive never stood on the train with heels on before thats going to be a challenge :(

its 2.03am, im wide awake, randomly surfing the net while putting MGMT's time to pretend, electric feel and pieces of what on repeat :/

randomly surfing the net is BAD.
cause it tends to result in me shopping online.
and im going through the same frustration about 32 inch dresses.
DAMN 32 INCH DRESSES.
i just came across so many pretty 32 inch dresses and one super gorgeous one only cause 20 bucks i want to just buy it!!!!!\

OK ANYWAY.
yesterday was national day.
caught like the first half an hour of the parade, it was surprisingly interesting!
probably one of the best parades over the past few years (:
but then i had to stop watching halfway to go meet qian at westmall.

that woman always fails when she takes public transport to my house.
ok i have to admit bukit batok is ulu but she always gets off the wrong stop! HAHAHA.
then it was dinner at westmall and walking around my favourite heartland mall <3
left at 9 plus and came over to my place.
OOPS WE DIDNT SAY THE PLEDGE AT 8.22.
i think during that time we were still eating at koufu, no one said either lah! :(

then hours passed while qian and i were being retarded then opy came over after her ndp!
da baoed for us prata woohoo yay we were starving :(
then htht and alot of random crap before they knocked out.
this is bad, i seriously dont feel sleepy early enough.
its screwing up my sleep pattern :(
woke up past noon, just nice for checking of boss outcome HAHAHA.

FREAK OPY AND I WERE HIGHEST BIDDERS FOR G15 MAN COMM :((((((((((((
damn heart pain seriously sigh sigh sigh.
we were even contemplating dropping and rebidding at a lower price HAHA.

they left in the late afternoon and ive been lazing around at home since then HA.
tmr meeting michelle lai!!! <33333
been so long since ive seen you friend, ive been busy with camps while you've been exploring foreign land :(

ok shall go back and admire the dress i feel like buying HAHA.

konichiwa (:

friday was beneficiary visit at bethesda at bedok.
super tiring cause primary school boys are a handful but enjoyed it very much especially with the girls (:
however doing community service with children always makes me think about the limits that i ought to have.
on one hand you want to be as sincere as possible and just blend in with the children but on the other hand i have to hold myself back so that there wont be any emotional attachment.
thats why usually in the beginning i'll just lose myself with the children but somewhere towards the end i'll be jerked back to reality and i have to realise that there is still a limit.

went to city hall after that with yihui for dinner at xin wang TAIWAN cafe HAHAHA.
ok lah the food is not bad but the drinks are very good!!!!
htht then walked around marina square to try and get some shopping done while the shops were going to close.
spent a long time at muji HAHAHA LOVE THAT PLACEEEEEEEEE.
if i had the money i would buy so many things there!
tried to look out for covered black low heels for my convocation but as of always, im such a picky shoe buyer and i tend to only like one particular style of heels anyway: velvet black peeptoes
I SHALL GAMBATTEH AND GET MYSELF A PAIR OF DAMN HEELS.

saturday morning i went for the smu floorball clinic.
WOW SO MANY PRO PEOPLE.
i am scared to join HAHAA.
shall try out handball and softball first!
stayed back to play more floorball with the other girls and left for lunch at raffles city mos burger with two new made friends (:
rushed home at 3 plus to hurry bathe and take a train down to bugis for ftb group gathering.

PEOPLE WERE LATE HA NOTHING UNUSUAL THERE.
went to minds!
ordered like every snack item on the menu HAHA.
loveeeeeeeee minds/settlers/whatever game cafe there is out there!
cause food and childish games are such a good match :D
had a blast with my group <3

left minds at like 10 in search of more food to consume.
chinese desert stalls were packed, tom's palette was closing and so it was off to starbucks (:
had an educational l4d talk with edmund HAHAHA then took the train home at 11 plus wah lao damn tired.
my body is aching?!?!?!
sigh its been too long since ive played anything remotely similar to floorball/hockey :(

well and nothing much to watch online anymore, most of the dramas i was excitedly following have come to an end: mr brain, majo saiban and boss (kind of like it)
but i came across a relatively new drama a couple of weeks ago!
only 2 episodes are out omg how slow :(
orthros no inu
Ryuzaki Shinji who possesses a “God Hand”, the power to heal wounds and illnesses just by touching the patient, is in fact a dark introvert who does not reveal his true self to others. Aoi Ryosuke who possesses the “Demon’s Hand”, the power to kill a person just by touching him, is as kind and pure as an angel.

so far its getting more and more interesting and gosh so many new developments <3<3
i think the japanese are pretty good at making mysteries/suspense shows so im always willing to try them out (:
i remember kindaichi was an ultimate favourite (be it drama, anime or manga) when i was young, although it scared the shit out of me HAHAHA.
but i was willing to get freaked out cause i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee the mysteries and how kindaichi will be able to solve them based on his awesome deduction skills <3

ok anyway adios!
will be catching up with qian and opy later yay :D

wow although last min i found out i was in block B instead of block A and bidding is SIBEI SIAN, super glad its settled :D
or at least hope it is!
hope i didnt make any mistakes in the bidding and i get the mods :D

big thank you again to yihui who is always there to calm me down and help me whenever im frantic HAHA.
in fact this week has been practically yihui week.

met her for tea/dinner at vivo on tuesday.
pacific coffee company is like my favourite hang out place in singapore!! :DDDDD
walked and talked and ate so much before we knew it the shops were closing and we were rushing around the shops to check out the items before the shops closed.
bought my work skirt for convocation!
in fact i think G2000 is like my new favourite shop to check out, there's some pretty nice stuff there actually!

then on wed went down to school for the academic briefing :/
damn it i think uni is a pain in the ass!
then went down to yihui's house, thanks for the dinner :D
checked out some bidding things over at her place and surfed the net hur hur.
big thank you to parents who came down to fetch me cause yihui's house is really freaking ulu if you want to travel by public transport :(

came home and did so much research and discussing about bidding i was about to go crazy!!!
and its been dragging on for too much, damn sian and tiring :(
today was also reserved for bidding matters at home sian.
but of course when it got too much for me i binged and watched shows HAHAHA.

well tmr shall be cip beneficiary visit yay yay yay!
hope it'll be a meaningful cute time with the kids, goodnight :D

and to end of with a pretty picture cause ive been koping more pretty arty photos off the net, crediting them here!

hello got back from bondue camp yesterday :D
had pre-camp dinner the day before at MOF (super delicious food omg i must go back) and it was off to bondue!

it was pretty fun really :D
the games were good, reminded me of cj orientation HAHA.
all those retarded games where we get so damn dirty that we end up throwing away clothes and underwear.
first day of bondue camp was spammed with such games and even though i had to throw a shirt and bra, i had a blast :D
after second round of dinner at this chicken rice place near city hall mrt, we had to watche the movie shutter.
luckily i watched it already but still scary HAHA.

then had fright night, WHO THE HECK TOLD ME BONDUE HAD NO FRIGHT NIGHT :(, where i ended up crying HAHAHA.
ok yes super hum ji kia here!
i was really scared and i tried to hide it by keeping quiet and calming down before we had to go for it but after the stupid introductory video about rosa the murdering maid and putting my blindfolds on i just couldnt control myself and started crying!
and the first room freaked me out so bad wah lao eh so they pulled me out for the second and third room but i went back for the fourth room :x

second day was like amazing race and omg this is like the first time during a camp that my team has actually chionged, and it was damn fun!
and we reached first!!!
but after counting in the scores and everything we dropped to second place, but still got prizes :D

then of course drinking night and the last day we broke camp at like noon wah damn early lah!
had lunch at si mian fuo then took a bus home, wah totally knocked out on the bus.
im pretty proud of myself for taking public transport home after every camp actually!
or actually im just stingy lah dont want to cab home too much HEH.

still a little bit unsettled and feels weird spending time at home but i need to treasure this before school starts!
actually ive got quite abit of free time cause nus people are starting school damn early on the 3rd so time to spend my weekdays resting at home (:
NEED TO RECOVER FROM MY SORE THROAT.
i always lose my voice abit after every camp HAHA.